August 02, 2014
Ninoy Aquino International Airport, Terminal 3
This is the saddest homecoming ever. I will be going home coz I've received an SMS and calls yesterday at 1507H that my father is in the hospital and about to send to ICU, 3 hours later, at 1853H another SMS received informing me that he's gone. I don't know what to say coz the last time I saw him was a year ago. This was the time was also he was confined in the hospital with the same illness. And this was also the time I said to myself that I will be staying for good but a traumatic experience happened. I'm not that showy of how much I love them. A typical problem with poor family like us who don't tell "I love you" to each other coz it will sound awkward coz you haven't raised to expressly say the words.
Later in the evening, I watched Pinoy Big Brother All-In in iwantv.com.ph where in Loisa was given by Kuya a YOLO (You Only Live Once) challenge to face her fear and as a reward, she will meet her mother and get a chance to express her true feelings to her mother. It made my cry coz I can definitely relate to it.
As always, other people tell us that we have say "I love you" to them before they'll gone. How can I help it if it really wasn't your upbringing? I may have regretted the days that I haven't expressly told him that I love him but being shy and feeling awkward, maybe I can't complain more.
I love you, Tay. I know that its already too late, but for me, never too late.